Getting Over Someone: How To Get Over Someone You Love
It doesn’t matter if it has been a long-term relationship that ended or an unanswered crush. If you like someone, and they don’t like you back (anymore) that hurts. You can keep on dwelling and feeling sad or even getting depressed over it, or you can decide to take your future in your own hands and get over them. Getting over someone does not mean that you hate them or that all your feelings disappear overnight. It just means that when you think about them it is with nostalgia, instead of wanting to burst out in tears.
1Give Yourself Time To Grieve
How long does it take to get over someone? The biggest mistake you can make is to try and move on too quickly. If you do not give yourself the time and the permission to grieve what was, what could have been and what never will be, you will just find yourself back at the beginning over and over again. Take the time you need to process your emotions.
2Be Angry If You Have To Be
Even if it wasn’t anybody’s fault really, that does not mean you cannot feel anger. Or maybe it was you who broke it off, you can still feel angry at the other person, at God, the Universe, or even just feeling anger in general. This is a very natural reaction to losing something or someone, and it is good to feel it. Just don’t let it get on for too long.
3Hit A Pillow
Getting over someone often involves a lot of frustrations. It can be about not having done things differently, not getting another chance, or simply frustrated at all the things you are feeling. There is nothing better to get the frustration out of your system then physically letting it all out. Hitting a pillow is one of the most therapeutic things you can do for yourself.
4Be Honest With Yourself
Sometimes when we look back on a relationship we tend to see things through a rose-colored lens. If you do that, you will only miss the good parts and soon forget why it is better to be apart. Be honest with yourself about what was really going on in the relationship and you will soon find that you are actually starting to get over it.
5Stay Out Of Touch For A While
It is so tempting to still be friends once the relationship is over. After all, you love or loved the person, so why wouldn’t you want to be friends? In order for a wound to heal, you need to stop touching it. If you stop all contact, at least for a little while, it will be easier to focus on yourself and get over the other person.
6Write Them A Letter
I would not recommend actually sending it, but getting all your feelings out on paper helps a lot in processing them. After you are completely empty and have written down everything you ever wanted to say, burn the paper.
7Give Back Their Things
Having reminders of them around the house that you come across all the time can be painful and opening up old wounds. Giving back things that are theirs also helps to give you closure and make it easier to move on. It is a final signal that it is really over.
8Focus On Something Else
Distraction is always a good way to get over someone. Since you are focussing on something else, you can let your unconscious mind process all your feelings and before you know it you actually don’t care as much about the other person anymore. It is amazing what we can forget once we are distracted.
9Help Other People
Part of what is difficult in getting over someone is that you are often trapped in your own mind, turning into circles and circles. If you start to help other people there is no space for obsessive thoughts anymore. And once you stop thinking about the other person as much, you will notice how much quicker you get over them.
10Get Into A Really Good Book
When you are just getting over someone there are moments that are more difficult than others. Often times it is when it is later at night, you are alone with your thoughts, and your friends are all asleep. This is when a good book can really help. Emerging yourself in a different world, living the lives of different people even for a little while, helps get you through those most difficult moments.
11Go Out With Friends
Your friends are your friends for a reason. You can count on them to distract you, to make you have fun even if you don’t want to, and to be a listening ear if you need it. It might be tempting to just wallow in your misery all alone at home, but that just prolongs your suffering. Better to go out with your friends and having a lovely time and maybe even forget your obsession for a while.
12Date Other People
Although it is not recommended to get into a new relationship when you are still not over the old one, there is nothing wrong with getting to know new people. You can go on dates, meet people, think about what it is that you want for your future and create that in your life.
13Pick Up A New Hobby
When we are in a relationship or obsessed with a crush we sometimes forget that we are individuals with our own tastes and interests. Now that you do not have the other person to take into consideration anymore, why not explore some new things for yourself? After all, there is nobody to stop you now.
14Make New Friends
After a relationship ends you can feel pretty lonely. Especially if you used to spend most of your free time with the other person. Getting over someone is the perfect time to make new friends. They don’t know who you are getting over, so they will not constantly be asking you about them. And more friends is always a good thing.
Sometimes what is really needed is a little bit of retail therapy. Don’t go crazy and max out all your credit cards, but do spoil yourself a little bit. Get a new dress, some new makeup or shoes… something that makes you feel good about yourself.
16Spoil Yourself A Little
Even if you do not go shopping, you can still spoil yourself. Take a long hot bath, use that fancy body lotion, go for a nice long walk, or treat yourself to an ice cream. Be kind and nice to yourself. You deserve it.
17Get A Dog Or A Cat
A house can feel very empty if you are suddenly alone in it. Not only does getting a pet solves that problem, but they are also always there to cuddle with you when you need a hug. Petting an animal lowers your stress levels and increases your happiness. Having something that depends on you for its wellbeing and needing to take care of that helps to avoid falling into a depression.
18Go On An Adventure
Life is an adventure and now that you are alone again, take advantage of that. Do something that you always wanted to do, but for one reason or the other never did. It can be as simple as trying out a new restaurant, or as daring as going skydiving. Flush your system with those endorphins and soon you won’t even remember their name.
19Talk With Good Friends About Everything
What else are friends for, if not to listen to you talk about your crush or ex for hours and hours on end? Really good friends will not let you wander off into fantasy land but will keep you grounded and in this reality. There is a reason talk therapy works and with friends you do not have to spend hundreds on a professional.
20Have A Cuddle Party
Physical contact is something that you can miss so much once you get out of a relationship. If you are not ready yet to dive into a new relationship, you can get together with some friends and have a cuddle party. Just put on a movie, cuddle up on the couch together and enjoy the physical closeness of each other.
21Do Volunteer Work
Having a new purpose to focus yourself on will help you get over someone really quickly. It also allows you to meet new people, get out of your head and out of your house. All things that are recommended when you are trying to get over someone.
Sometimes there is a lot to unpack after you finally decide to move on from someone. From why you liked them in the first place, why it didn’t work out, how you are feeling and much more. Writing down everything in a journal helps you getting the thoughts out of your head. This will help stop obsessing over them. And who knows, maybe it will even give you some new insights?