How To Get Over A Guy
Let’s face it, breakups totally suck. They hit us like a truck, have us crying over bowls of ice cream, and wreak havoc on our emotional well-being. They’re definitely not easy to handle, even if you were the initiator. No matter what happened or who said what, breakups shake up your world and can have you feeling pretty lost.
But, with these tips, you can master the healing of a broken heart.
1Distance Yourself From Him
I know it’s hard to completely cut off communication after a breakup, but it really is for the best. If you are constantly waiting for a text from him or hanging out with his group of friends, you will never be able to remove yourself from the situation that is hurting you. Distance is key, especially when the breakup is fresh.
2Surround Yourself With Friends
They say laughter is the best medicine. So, spend some time with your girls. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy. A sleepover full of movies, good snacks, and funny memories is ideal during this emotional time. It is always good to remember you have a support system. Utilize it. True friends will be there for you, just like you would be there for them.
3Journal Your Way To Acceptance
Journaling is a therapeutic ritual that can totally help you to accept the breakup. By writing a stream of consciousness, you may be able to discover what went wrong, how you’re feeling, and how you are going to move forward. Don’t focus on making sense while writing, just write and the focus will shine through.
4Try Something New
Ever thought of trying yoga? Or, maybe sailing? Breakups give us the perfect opportunity to switch up our life a little and try something new. It will help get your mind off your sad little heart and onto something exciting. Embrace the inner child inside of you and remember why learning is fun.
5Check Out The Dating Scene
This isn’t for everyone, but if you feel ready, then definitely check out the dating scene around you. Even if it’s just a casual double-date with friends. It’s always good to talk to someone different from your ex to discover that there are more options out there and definitely more than one type of guy. Hey, maybe a new guy will help you to realize that you actually hated a lot of things your ex used to do!
Peace and quiet are necessary when getting over a breakup; It’s essential in order to reflect on all the feels and come to terms with your current situation. It is always important to have a good sense of self and quiet reflection can definitely help you get there. By tuning into your own body, you start to better understand your personal needs and wants, which you can then attend to.
7Plan A Trip
Having something to look forward to is so important when you’re feeling down in the dumps. So, why not plan a trip? It could be a solo trip, a family trip, or a BFF trip! Not only will the excitement of something fun coming up make you smile, but getting out of your current environment can be very healing, as well. Go see the world with a new set of (single) eyes! Bonjour, hotties!
8Get A Makeover
Now, I’m not saying be the girl who gets bangs after a breakup or bleaches her hair, but hey, if you want to, then go ahead! A makeover, whether it’s your clothes or the way you do your eyeshadow will make you feel fresh and confident! Also, this is a perfect excuse for a shopping trip. Treat yourself to those Louboutins!
9Throw Out His Stuff
There is no need to keep wearing his hoodie. And, there is definitely no need to save the teddy bear he gave you last Valentine’s Day. Throw it out, or at least put it away somewhere so that you are not constantly reminded of him while trying to forget him. It’s like they say, “out of sight, out of mind.”
Lorelai Gilmore famously summed it up when she said to Rory after her and Dean broke up… “Get back in your pajamas, go to bed, eat nothing but gallons of ice cream and tons of pizza, don’t take a shower or shave your legs or put on any kind of makeup at all and just sit in the dark and watch a really sad movie and have a good long cry and just wallow. You need to wallow.” And, she was so right. You have all these crazy emotions taking over your body and sometimes you just need to cry before you can move on. You can’t carry all that energy inside of you. Let it out.
11Throw A Breakup Party
There is nothing like a raging party to cheer someone up! I know this sounds silly, but get your best GFs together, bump up the music, and celebrate your breakup. Treat it as a coming-out party for the new you. It’s the beginning to a totally hot and totally single life and that’s definitely something worth celebrating!
12Realize It’s For The Best
There was obviously a reason why the breakup happened, so try to figure it out. If you find logic within your heartbreak, it will help you to understand that it just wasn’t right. And, that makes moving forward a lot easier. While picking apart your breakup, you will probably start to see elements of the relationship you didn’t like. This is information you can carry on into future relationships to make sure you are getting exactly what you need and what you deserve. Realizing the breakup was for the best will allow you to be ready for that special someone when they do come along. Don’t miss opportunities in romance by holding onto old love.
13Don’t Look At His Social Media
Absolutely do not look at his Insta stories, Facebook, or any forms of social media. This is a self-sabotaging habit that will have you refreshing his page every two minutes and focusing more on him now than you did when you were dating. You don’t have to be petty and defriend him, but you should definitely hide his posts. Or, even better, take a social media hiatus for your mental health. A social detox is healthy at any time, but especially during a breakup.
If you are really having a tough time and you feel like you have no one to talk to, you could always try therapy. Sometimes it’s nice to talk to someone completely unbias. And, there is no shame in asking for help when you need it. Some things we just can’t handle on our own. Use the resources available to you.
15Buy A Pet
Maybe you miss your morning snuggles from your ex-boo, but, you know what? A puppy gives even better snuggles and kisses than whats-his-name. So, if you are able to have a pet and you can give them all the attention they deserve, then it might be beneficial for your healing. A pet will also get you outside for exercise and give you a driving buddy. They’re the ultimate partner-in-crime. And, basically, pets are just better than boys.
16Use It As Motivation
A breakup is a perfect excuse to motivate yourself to be better. Whether it’s going to the gym more, reading all the classics, or learning more about your specific craft, breakups free up your time to do just that. Self-improvement is essential for climbing yourself out of your breakup hole. And, it’ll help you gain your confidence back.
17Reinvent Your Future
Maybe you thought you were going to marry this guy, and now that you’re single it’s hard to accept the fact that the wedding bells aren’t going to be chiming any time soon. Try to see your future in a new way. Don’t dwell on being a couple anymore. Where do YOU want to go in life? You’re in charge now. It’s time to focus on you and you alone.
18Don’t Blame Yourself
There is nothing worse than blaming yourself when you’re already feeling low. The best thing to do is just accept what has happened and move forward. Blaming yourself will only prolong the healing process and make you feel worse. There is no reason to sink lower and lower. Get yourself out of this slump through acceptance.
19Remember What Makes You Special
You were whole before you met Brad, Gordon, Kyle, or whatever his name was. And, during a breakup, it is essential to remember what makes you extraordinary. Are you a really good painter or do you have the ability to make anyone laugh when they’re sad? Whatever makes you extra special, embrace it! It’s always important to remember your worth.
20Healing Takes Time
A big thing to remember is that healing is a process and people go through it at different speeds. Just because your BFF Katie got over Dylan in three days, doesn’t mean you have to get through your breakup in the same amount of time. The heart is a tricky thing, everyone’s is different. And, everyone needs to learn how to heal, nurture, and grow their own unique hearts.