60 Super Funny Corny Jokes
Everyone appreciates a good old fashioned corny joke every now and then. They may make us cringe and groan but sometimes corny jokes are just so bad that they are actually good and end up making us cry with laughter. Here are some hilarious ones to help you become as funny as us here at Girlterest, and make Bae think you’re the funniest woman he ever met.
What do you call a group of unorganized cats? A catastrophe
The cutest problem that you could ever have!
What disease do you get when you decorate for Christmas? Tinselitus
This is a great one to drop into conversation around Christmas time. You can warn people like “woahh careful around the decorations! You don’t want to catch tinselitus!”
My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen the look on her face as i drove pasta!
Get it? Drove pasta/ drove past her? Who wouldn’t drive a pasta car given the chance?
What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel
Yep. Those plain (plane) bagels are always flying over my house. They’re reckless.
What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look! I’m about to change.
The traffic lights just trying to protect her modesty, you know?
What did one hat say to the other? You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
Go on ahead = Go on a head. We think that this one is fantastic.
What do you do if someone thinks an onion is the only food that can make them cry? Throw a coconut at their face.
Biff! A coconut to the face is sure to teach them the error of their ways!
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles
We wouldn’t fancy getting close to that octopus with their flailing wiggly legs but at least you’ve got the know-how now if you want to make one laugh.
What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y (2.30)
Every time you announce to people that you have a dentist check up, tell them that it’s at 2.30. A classic
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
Assaulted in broad daylight! The poor peanut! It’s a scary world out there
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
Poor guy. What difference would it make if there were only 20 days in March? It would make the summer holidays come faster. We’ll hire him!
5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions
A perfect joke for the secret maths need that lives inside each of us.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? For drizzle
Fo shizzle, he needs protection from that drizzle.
What has four wheels and flies? A Garbage truck
Yep. Not a flying car, but a garbage truck, because it’s so stinky. Delightful.
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing. It just waved.
We’re guessing that the ocean is a little shy around shore. Aww, young love!
Why doesn’t anyone want to shave a crazy sheep? Cause it’s a baaaaaaaaaad idea.
It would be very baaaaaad indeed. You can’t trust those crazy sheep one bit.
What’s the most famous creature in the ocean? The starfish.
Yep, not spongebob squarepants. That starfish is a superstar.
Where can you find chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
Get it? Soup stock? Share stocks? A Dad joke but great all the same.
I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
See, that’s exactly what the brain wants you to think, it’s a control freak…
What does a nosey pepper do? Get jalapeño business.
This pepper be all up in my grill. He needs to learn when things are nothing to do with him.
If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.
Either get up in that tree and go crazy, or become small, brown and tasty. It’s your shout.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
We can’t mock the blind but that’s a pretty good one right? There are so many of those “walked into a bar” jokes and this ones pretty unique as far as they go.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus?
Do-you-think-he-saurus or are-we-safe-esaurus ?
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.
Seven is on a rampage! No wonder six wants to watch it’s back!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
An impasta is at large! He thinks he can act like spaghetti but we all know he’s just a ramen noodle
My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.
His shelf/ his self. Get it? Everyone loves a joke with a good pun. They’re just so punny!
You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it’s pretty cheesy.
Yep. We’ve got a feeling that any jokes about your pizza margarita are going to be just too much cheese for us to handle.
Why was the sand wet? The sea weed.
Ugh. That sea is always at it. Can’t he just rush to the bathroom like the rest of us?
You cannot run in a campground, you can only ran; because it is past tents!
English grammar buffs will love this humor!
Why are movie stars so cool? Because they have a lot of fans.
Fans all around them – perfect for the hot weather!
Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.
He needed to get back to his field but he remembered that that was on the udder side of the road.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality
A cold, honest cup of reality. The perfect joke for the grouchy person who doesn’t like jokes!
What did one snowman say to the other snowman? “Do you smell carrots?”
Imagine living a life where your nose was made of carrot, and you constantly had to smell carrot. *shudders*
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?? A dino-snore
Those dino-snores are like mini earthquakes!
What do you call a deaf dinosaur? Anything you want, he can’t hear you!
Go crazy, call him whatever name you like. He won’t hear you but we’re not so sure they he won’t eat you…
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator
The scariest kind of detective. At least he intimidates people into giving him some answers.
What job did the frog have at the hotel? He was a bell hop.
Cute! The perfect job for a frog!
How do you put a baby alien to sleep? You rocket
Like with any baby, if it starts crying then you just rocket back to sleep.
How do you organize a party in outer space? You planet!
You’ve got to planet if it’s going to be good and you want people to actually show up (get it? Plan it?)
What’s the name of a pig that likes karate? Pork chop
Sorry but we simply cannot hear the word “pork chop” without it making us hungry…
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
We’ve all been there. Soap in the mouth or shampoo in the eye. First world problems right here.
What do you call a pretty ghost? BOOtiful
Just in case you ever wake up to a ghost in your house… Though if you do, we’re not sure that complimenting it is going to be the first thing on your agenda.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
Impractical or fashion forward? We can’t decide.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
It’s brown, and it’s appearance is sticky… Duh
Q: What do you call bears with no ears? A: B
Clever, eh? Though would you really fancy your chances taunting a big brown bear? Didn’t think so…
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I’m dressing.
Careful! Don’t show off the mayonnaise’s goodies for the whole world to see!
What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone.
He likes the trom-bone. He likes the way it encourages him to shake, rattle and roll! (cringe)
What do you call an unpredictable camera? A loose Canon.
The loose canon does whatever it wants. Watch out for those unplanned selfies!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
A deadly combination. Not sure that we’d want to encounter such a creature!
When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.
It’s not a door when it’s a jar is it? Right?
What bow can’t be tied? A rainbow!
Yep. We’re not sure that it’s possible and we’re still looking for that pot of gold at the end of it too.
What is red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint
We love that fresh paint smell! We can come up with these jokes too: What’s yellow and smells like blue paint?
What did one elevator say to the other elevator? I think I’m coming down with something!
Is he sick or carrying a load of passengers? We can’t be sure.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-ntain.
Our favorite type of mountain. Who wants to hike Kilimanjaro when you’ve got this cuteness around?
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback.
Quarter back/ quarterback. Isn’t it the worst when you can see that Hershey bar glistening away in the vending machine seductively and your money’s trapped inside. Torture.
What’s E.T. short for? He’s got little legs.
He can’t help that he’s short!
What does the cobbler say when a cat wanders into his shop? Shoe!
Poor little cat was just looking to buy a new pair of boots!
Where do animals go when their tails fall off? The retail store
To get re-tailed you know?
I used to be addicted to soap, but now I’m clean.
That addiction will do that to you. It’ll leave you all squeaky and new.
How does a train eat? Chew, Chew!
He chew chews his food.