Should I Text Him?

Question: Is it okay to text him first?
Answer: Yes! If you went on a date with a guy and you think it went well and he seems like the kind of guy you’re looking for, there is no reason you shouldn’t text first! Having said that, there is also no reason to rush it. You don’t want to seem over-eager and clingy right away so try to wait at least a couple hours before sending a text (if he hasn’t texted you first!). Remember, just because you think it went well, doesn’t mean he felt chemistry with you. When you text him, put the ball in his court. Let him know you had a great time, but don’t pester him about when you will see each other next. Just convey that you enjoyed meeting him and that he should feel welcome to text you if he’d like to hang out again. Even though it might feel like he’s not interested if he doesn’t text you first, some guys are just shy and don’t want to put themselves out there to be rejected. Wouldn’t it be terrible if you both liked each other, but were too scared to text each other? If you’re not confused about wanting to see him again, then don’t make things ambiguous…just tell him you’d like to see him again! Don’t forget: the worst that can happen is that he doesn’t text you further and then you can be grateful that he didn’t lead you on or waste your time.

Question: Should you text him back?
Answer: Yes, texting back is the polite thing to do, but what you say to him depends. Think about why you aren’t sure you want to see him again. Is it because you don’t find him attractive, but you also love his personality? Is it because you hate his personality, but think he’s cute? Or is it because you like him a lot, but you aren’t looking for a relationship and he is? If your issue is with his looks, keep in mind that things that seem unattractive at first can become endearing over time. If you loved hanging out with him, it doesn’t hurt to try another date or two. If you realize that you will never have physical chemistry, let him know gently as soon as you figure it out. Remember, it only counts as “leading him on” when you know that it’s not going to work and then continue to send mixed signals. Take the time you need to figure it out, but always be honest. On the other hand, if he’s hot, but has a horrible personality, our advice is to shut it down. Text him back to be polite, but be clear that you are uninterested in continuing further. Sure he’s cute, but the cute will be less important when you are consistently frustrated with his personality deficiencies. And remember, all guys are their best selves on the first date, so if you didn’t like him then, there’s no way it’s going to get better! Ultimately, even though it’s flattering someone is interested in you, you need to think about why you’re hesitant to move forward. If it’s for reasons like not being super attracted to them or because you’re scared of falling in love, text him back and try another date because these are not things that are wrong with them. But for “deal-breaker” reasons like lacking personality compatibility or being on different pages about what you’re looking for, it’s best to be very clear that you are not interested in moving forward. It might be hard at first, but it will save both of you a lot of pain in the future!

Question: Should you text him?
Answer: Most girls don’t want to hear this, but NO. This guy has more than likely “ghosted” which basically means he has decided he doesn’t want to pursue things and doesn’t possess the basic courtesy to let you know. Though some girls will want to keep texting him because “maybe something happened to him and he didn’t get my messages,” the reality is that continuing to text him will not do any good. Even if he for some reason didn’t get your messages, he would have figured out a way to get in touch with you if he wanted to. Texting him again after he hasn’t responded makes you look desperate and makes you stress over a guy who isn’t worth your time. If he eventually reaches out, decide what to make of his excuse. If he was just “stressed” or doesn’t bother apologizing, think about this: do you really want to be with a guy who doesn’t care about your feelings when it’s not convenient for him?

Question: Should you text him first?
Answer: Maybe. It depends on how much space in your life you have for the nervous energy, questions, and self-doubts that always accompany initiating with a crush. And, of course, you should actually want a relationship, since it’s possible your crush could evolve into that! Having said that, the reality is that if he has your number, he has had the opportunity to text you and hasn’t done so. That doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t be interested, but it also means that he’s not so interested that he can’t stop himself from texting you. A good way to gauge his interest or get yourself on his radar would be to text him something casual. Unless you are super brave, you don’t need to ask him out right away. However, if you are okay with the possibility that the conversation will reveal he doesn’t seem interested, figure out a casual way to break the ice. Remember, even though it can be awesome if a crush turns into a boyfriend, there’s also something fun and exciting about keeping it to a crush.

Question: Should you text him first?
Answer: If he doesn’t have your number or a way to contact you, you can’t overanalyze why he hasn’t texted you! If you really want to get to know him more, it’s up to you to make the first move since you have his contact info! As with the last scenario, before you initiate with a crush, make sure you are emotionally prepared for either outcome, whether the case is that he is uninterested or the flip side: he wants to date you!

Question: Should you text him first?
Answer: The answer to this question totally depends on whether you want him to know you like him. Some girls ultimately want the guy friend they are crushing on to know about it because they suspect he may return her feelings. On the other hand, some girls believe that revealing their feelings would ruin the friendship and are very committed to keeping it a secret for eternity. If you want him to start thinking of romantic possibilities with you, the key is to start texting him in a more flirty way than normal. Even if he is used to you texting him first, you can up your game by being super responsive, by asking him random questions and striking up conversation even more often. Basically, you want him to notice that you are communicating differently because it will prompt him to wonder why you are acting differently. On the other hand, if you want him to know nothing about your feelings, the key is texting him how you’ve always texted him throughout your friendship. If you never text him first, fight the urge to text him constantly. If you tend to text him often, don’t stop texting him as you normally do even though the tactic of minimizing communication might seem like a good way to indicate that you “don’t like him.” If he notices you doing something different, especially texting less and not being responsive, he might assume that you don’t have a crush on him, but he also might think you are being rude or a lazy friend.

Question: Should you text him back?
Answer: Probably not. More often than not, ex-boyfriends get in touch with ex-girlfriends because they have found themselves single again and want to relive history. Even though it is easy to look back on the past with rose-colored glasses, there was a reason why you guys broke up in the first place, and there is a reason why it ended ugly. Oftentimes, there is too much pain with past relationships that end poorly and it tends to be easier on both parties if they stay in the past.

Question: Should you text him?
Answer: Nope! There’s no good outcome by texting him if has a girlfriend. If he doesn’t text you back, you feel like a fool and selfish for trying to mess up an established relationship. If he does text you back, you are on a slippery slope of potentially ruining a relationship and it also says something bad about him. It might feel flattering if he flirts back with you, but why would you want to pursue something with someone who would behave like this while in a relationship?

Question: Should you text him?
Answer: Yes. Sometimes people who are meant to be meet at the wrong time in their lives. While it might not have worked in the first go, it can absolutely work in different circumstances if you two are compatible on a fundamental level. If you are sure that he is single, it doesn’t hurt to get in touch. You can’t automatically assume that he will want to get back with you, but he’s not a stranger so you two can probably at least share a meal together without any awkwardness, and see where things go from there!

As we said earlier, there is no definite answer to the question “Should I text him.” Having said that, deciding whether to text him is not as difficult as it seems when you take a few moments to consider your situation. Remember, at the end of the day, you need to do what is comfortable for you. For example, if sending that guy who ghosted on you another text makes you feel better, you should feel free to do it even though our advice recommends against this move. Ultimately, in matters of the heart, there is no single rule that can apply to all girls and you should text him if you think you will regret not texting him more than any of the possible negative outcomes of texting him. We hope you found this list helpful and remember: no matter how your texting experience goes, your worth is never determined by the status of your relationship with a guy!