How Many Dates Before Exclusive?
It’s tricky to know just exactly when you and the person you are dating should make it exclusive. How many dates does it take? And, does that even really matter? There are a million things to consider and it’s hard to tell if you and the person you are dating are on the same page. So, here is some advice that will guide you and help you make the tough decision about your current fling and decide if it’s even relationship-worthy.
1Figure Out If You Are On The Same Page
The most important thing to discuss before you get into a relationship with someone new is to determine if you are both on the same page. Do you both want the same things? If your new friend is loving the single life or casual dating, than it may be hard to make an exclusive relationship work. Communicate with each other to ensure that you can make a decision wisely.
Yes, being in a relationship sounds all fun and good, but there is no reason to be in a relationship if you’re just settling. It’s important to find the right person to match your personality and lifestyle. And, someone who will give you what you deserve. Relationships should improve your life, so if your boo isn’t giving you all the tingles and good vibes, than maybe he isn’t the one you should be hopping onto that exclusive train with.
3Every Couple Has A Different Timeline
It’s important to remember that just because your friends and their BFs started going steady after a few weeks, doesn’t mean that you and your fling have to. Every relationship has a different timeline. And, some are slower than others. Do what works for you and your boo. Don’t feel pressured to speed things up, because if it’s not happening organically, it will hurt the relationship in the long-run.
4Do You Have Similar Plans?
It would be terrible to get into a relationship with someone just to realize that they want completely different things than you. That’s why it’s vital to have a conversation before you become serious about the dynamic of how you want the relationship to be and also about future plans. No, you don’t have to discuss babies and marriage just yet, but the discussion of big moves and career goals should be on the list.
5Are You Both In A Good Place?
A big thing to consider before hopping into a relationship is happiness. Are you both in a good place in life right now? Do you have time and energy to spend on someone other than yourself? And, do you want to give that energy or would you rather save it for yourself? Relationships aren’t always easy, so you must make sure you are mentally capable of dealing with problems it may throw at you. Also, by getting into a relationship when you are going through personal issues or growth will only stress out the new dynamic more, so it’s better to hold off until you are in a better place. If you are ready to become exclusive, get ready to work as a team because it’s not all about you anymore.
6Are You Happy Together?
This is a big one. Does this person make you happy? Do they improve your quality of life? Do you crave to be around them? If so, then yes, girl, put a ring on it! If not, then maybe he’s just not the one for you. And, that’s ok to admit! Finding the right person is essential for a successful relationship. You don’t want to just get into a relationship in order to be able to say you’re in a relationship. Don’t settle. Find that person who makes you unable to stop smiling and whose texts make you giggle like a schoolgirl. Love and happiness should be found in the right person, so don’t fake it!
7Look At Those Red Flags
If you see red flags pop up while you’re just casually dating someone, you probably shouldn’t get into a relationship with them. Think about it- if you aren’t even full-time with this guy and he’s already doing some shady things, like why waste more energy on them? Nobody wants to be attached to someone who has an extremely bad temper or has a habit of ignoring your texts until the next day or someone who is completely flaky and ditches plans on the reg. Girl, you are looking for a life partner that will respect you and your time; Respect yours by not wasting it on some loser who can’t call you back.
8Do Your Schedules Make Sense?
It’s not going to be much of a relationship if you never have time to see each other. In this day in age, people are just busy! Your calendar is full of classes, work, brunch dates, networking events, family outings, and now you have to fit another person into all of that too? And, what does their schedule look like? Is it just as busy? So, before making that leap to being exclusive make sure your schedules sync up well. However, if you really like each other and there is a total connection, but you have difficult schedules, find a way to make it work. Maybe set up a routine that will allow you to get the most out of your time together. True love is unstoppable, but a manageable schedule definitely helps.
9Get Ready To Make Sacrifices
Relationships are a lot about sacrifice. It is not just you anymore that you need to worry about. You are going to have to compromise and sometimes that means doing things you just don’t want to do. Yeah, maybe, football isn’t your thing, but if your new BF wants you to go to his games every week, you totally should. By showing support for something he loves it will help him feel secure and appreciated in the relationship. And, I’m sure he will do the same for you! If he doesn’t than the relationship definitely isn’t equal and something needs to be done.
10Dependence Can Be Healthy
In this day in age, we, as women, are encouraged to be independent. And, we should be! But, there is also nothing wrong with being dependent once in a while on someone that you love and trust. Having a BF is a wonderful gift. They will be there to hug you on your hard days. And, it’s definitely ok to vent and cry to them when things just aren’t going your way. A BF is there to make your life a little easier and more enjoyable. And, you should be doing the same for him. In a relationship, you are a team, and you should both be trying to make each other’s life a little better.
11You Cannot Have Unrealistic Expectations
Ok, girls, having a BF is not going to be all butterflies, rainbows, and vacations to the Cayman Islands. If only! But, sometimes, relationships really suck; they’re hard and they can make you super emotionally exhausted. But, with the right person, they are totally worth it despite all the messy parts. Make sure not to get your hopes up because a fancy dinner date every week at that Italian place down the street can get really expensive. Be sure to have a realistic mindset and know that staying in and watching Netflix with your bae can be just as fun as going out on the town for the night. If it’s not, maybe this bae isn’t for you.
12Love Takes Time
When you’re starting a relationship, you definitely need to realize that you are not going to be totally head-over-heels in love right away. Love takes time to build. And, it starts with a groundwork of trust, honesty, vulnerability, and communication, all of which don’t appear overnight. It takes work, a lot of hours together, and probably a few arguments and disagreements. So, don’t get frustrated if you’re not in love right away. Love will come at the right time.
13Look To The Future
Yeah, it’s a stretch, but do you see yourself having a future with this person? If your new boo-thang is someone you could bring over to your parents proudly, and you see making you happy for days to come than you should definitely consider a relationship with them. You don’t have to be thinking of marriage or children yet, but thinking about your dynamic, whether you could potentially live with them, and bring them around your friends and to work events will definitely shed some insight on whether or not he is the one for you.
14Stand Your Ground
When trying out a new lover, be sure to always stand your ground. You are an independent woman with a mind of her own. You already have stances and opinions on things and you have morals that you have carried with you your whole life. Do not for any reason drop any of these values you carry. Beautiful abs, a dashing smile, and a charming attitude should not change your deep-rooted values.