Getting to Know You Questions and Topics
One of the best things about new relationships, wither it be romantic or not, is the getting to know you phase. This is the time you get to feel each other out, ask questions, and just have fun as you get to figure out what makes the other interesting. While it can be new and exciting, sometimes it can also be daunting. You don’t want to come off like your whole world revolves around them, but you also don’t want to seem like you’re not interested. That is why we have created a list of the best topics to pick getting to know you questions from.
We could always give you exact questions, but getting to know you questions are more than just getting to know facts about someone, they are meant to open conversation and help it flow effortlessly.
The last thing you want to do is start rattling off questions. Instead, let one question lead you to other places. For example don’t jump to a question about sports when they just described their favorite thing to do is play the guitar. Instead, ask questions that follow up on what they just said. How did they learn to play? How long have they been playing? Favorite kind of music?
1It’s all about the family!
Family is what surrounds us on a daily basis. Even if we don’t have the perfect family in other people’s view, our family is what makes us who we are. Our choices, life morals, goals, behavioral traits, and the way we do things all go back to our family life and upbringing.
By asking questions about their parents, siblings, traditions, or pets you are showing that you are truly interested in them and the people they consider to be important. But remember, sometimes people don’t have the best family experiences and that is ok as well. Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed for bringing up a touchy subject, because you didn’t know. Instead roll with the punches and if it feels like they are open about talking, then ask questions. Chances are you will find some amazing detail you never would have found with other questions. Not to mention it creates a special bond when someone shares something personal with someone else. Check out some of these amazing family questions.
- Do you have any siblings?
- What is your favorite family tradition?
- Do you guys do anything special for (enter special occasion if it applies)
- Do you have any pets?
2Friends, Friends, and more Friends.
I’m sure we have all heard the saying, “Friends are the family you choose.” That is why you’re getting to know you questions should focus on them. With family, we are always on our best behavior, but with friends we can let loose. Friends allow us to let down our guard and just have fun.
When you ask questions about friends, you are opening up the conversation to another level. Be prepared to go on a journey as they share some of their wildest memories with friends. This is always one of my favorite topics, because it always leads to laughter. You can get the ball rolling with a few of these questions.
- What do you and your friends like to do for fun?
- What is the craziest memory you have with your friends?
- What is your best friend like?
3Don’t Forget the Hobbies.
You might be feeling like you have exhausted all the questions there are when it comes to people they know and you might be right. But that doesn’t mean you’re out of questions. It just means it’s time to move on to another subject. Asking about their hobbies is one of the best things you can do. Hobbies is just another word for passions and people can’t help lighting up when they talk about something they love.
IMPORANT! Take mental notes during these questions, because this will give your ideas on how to build the relationship. For example if they love watching movies, then when you want to hang out again invite them to see a movie. If the hate hanging out with big crowds, then it is probably smart to not invite them to a party. These questions will give you all the information you need to strengthen your connection. Here are some perfect questions that will explore their passions.
- What do you like to do in your spare time?
- What is your favorite thing to do?
- Do you have any hobbies?
4Use Yourself as a Guide.
Don’t forget while you’re excited to get to know them, they are just as excited to get to know you. So don’t spend all your time focusing on them, take time to throw in your two cents. A great way to do that, is by finding questions that you can chime in as well. For example, if you have a passion for art, then ask them if they like art. They might say no and that is perfectly ok. Don’t shy away, express to them why you asked the question to begin with. Then follow up with why you enjoy it, why it is important to you. They might now like art, but they will enjoy hearing your thoughts on the matter.
5Pull from your Surroundings.
This only works if you are out and about, but it is still a great topic to pick from. Chances are at some time during the get to know you phase, you will be hanging out at the mall, amusement park, beach, or some type of location. Don’t feel as if you have to have all your questions prepped before your outing, because then it can come off a little stiff or rehearsed. The most important thing is that you two are having fun.
So don’t think too much about your questions and just let them come to you, literally. Maybe you will see someone while you’re in line for food, wandering along the mall, or ridding a rollercoaster. No matter what brought up the questions or topic, the important part is that it is happening right now which makes it a hot discussion. Questions from this realm are going to help create memories that you can share together in the future, because it’s something new to the both of you.
Examples of questions in this category might lean towards the food, environment, or activity you are doing at the moment. For example, you two are trying out a new restaurant and it’s terrible. By jus asking how is the food, you two can giggle at how horrible the food it and maybe continue laugh as you two head to get burgers or something.
No matter what the questions are, the important thing to remember is to have fun. Let the conversation flow and relax. This phase is exciting because you both are working to build something amazing and to do that you need to get to know each other first. So don’t fret if there is some silence or a few questions fall flat, chances are they are just as nervous and hopeful as you are.